What If Being Sick Doesn’t Look How You Expect?
Not all illnesses have an outward appearance.
This week, I met someone who didn’t look sick. It was an odd feeling. At first, it reminded me of when I was a bedside nurse and came across a a patient that also didnt look sick.
No obvious symptoms. No visible distress. But the moment we spoke, I felt it—this quiet, heavy overwhelm she was trying so hard to hold together.
Let’s dive in!
The Hidden Illness
Meeting this new acquaintance with an invisible illness this week landed differently. Not because of what she said—but because I saw myself in her.
Because I, too, have been diagnosed with chronic illnesses. I, too, know what it’s like to live in a body that doesn’t always match people’s expectations. I know what it’s like to show up—to class, to work, to life—when your insides are screaming but your outside gives nothing away.
It’s a strange place to be: both the one who offers care and the one who needs it. Especially in December.
When everything is glittering and festive and full of pressure to be “on.” When people expect energy, availability, joy. When the world doesn’t leave much room for quiet illness, or fatigue, or the kind of grief that’s hard to name.
A healthy looking patient
A Moment of Reflection
This moment with my new acquaintance reminded me: illness doesn’t always announce itself. It doesn’t wait for a convenient time. It doesn’t come with flashing lights or warning labels. Sometimes, it just exists—invisibly, silently, behind a practiced smile.
As a nurse and a human navigating her own health, this month is teaching me something no textbook can: how to hold compassion for what isn’t obvious. In others. In myself.
Now, I am passing something on to you. Permission. Permission to hold compassion for yourself, and permission to allow yourself grace. We can’t always be “on”. So take your breaks, say “no” to things that you know you cannot manage, ask for help, and take time for yourself. You have my permission.
Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Here is an activity for you to do with your nursing friends!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ynuZU-m2Ot9CBxPQwYFef6vD7n5kXEDIwBMjPGQCR40/edit?usp=sharing
You CAN do this!
💬 Join the Conversation:
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Share your stories in the comments or reach out—I’d love to hear from you.
How will you hold compassion for yourself this December?
Any NCLEX tips or stories you'd like to share with your fellow new nurses?
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