Surviving the hidden hazing in your first nursing job.

You walk onto the unit in brand-new scrubs, stethoscope around your neck, heart pounding with equal parts nerves and excitement. You’ve made it through nursing school, clinicals, NCLEX prep—the hard part should be over, right?

Your preceptor barely looks up when you introduce yourself.
The other nurses huddle at the desk, laughing about something you’re not part of.
By the end of the day, you’ve been given the heaviest patient load “to see how you handle it,” your questions have been brushed off twice, and someone made a joke about “the new kid” in front of a patient.

You drive home in silence, replaying every moment, wondering if you’re in over your head.

And you’re not alone.

“My preceptor told me on day two, ‘We don’t hold hands here.’ I didn’t ask another question for weeks.” – ICU Nurse, 3 years

This is the part no one told you about: the quiet, corrosive hazing that still exists in nursing.

Let’s dive in!

What Hazing Looks Like in Nursing Today

It’s not always overt bullying. More often, it’s a steady drip of small cuts that wear you down:

Assignments that are intentionally overwhelming

“They gave me 7 patients my third shift. One was in restraints. One was on comfort care. I was still figuring out where the supply closet was.” – Med-Surg New Grad
Withheld information that sets you up to stumble

“I found out one of my patients had been transferred when I went into their room and it was empty.” – Pediatrics New Grad
Questions answered with sarcasm instead of guidance

“I asked about a med dosage and got, ‘Don’t they teach you anything in school?’ in front of the whole team.” – Step-Down Nurse, 2 years
Public criticism in front of patients or colleagues
Social exclusion from team conversations and support

These behaviors are often brushed off as “part of paying your dues” or “how you toughen up.” But there’s a difference between high expectations and deliberate intimidation.

The other nurses huddle at the desk, laughing about something you’re not part of.

Why It Happens (But Doesn’t Excuse It)

Many seasoned nurses endured the same treatment when they started, and it’s become part of the culture. Add in:

Chronic staffing shortages that leave everyone on edge
Burnout that drains empathy
Pressure to “weed out” those deemed not strong enough

“We were short-staffed, the charge nurse was drowning, and I was the easy target. It wasn’t about me—it was about the chaos.” – ER Nurse, 4 years

The reasons explain it. They don’t excuse it.

Too many good nurses leave within their first year.

The Toll on New Nurses

This isn’t just about hurt feelings. Hazing has real consequences:

Confidence: You second-guess yourself even when you’re right.

“By month two, I was checking job boards every night. I loved nursing—but I couldn’t keep crying in the parking lot before every shift.” – Former ER Nurse
Safety: Fear of asking for help can lead to mistakes.
Retention: Too many good nurses leave within their first year.

For NCLEX students, knowing this reality before you step onto the floor can mean the difference between being blindsided and being prepared.

Recognizing the Signs Early

One tense interaction is normal in a high-stress job. A pattern is not. Watch for:

Consistently unsafe assignments
Being left out of key patient updates or reports
Repeated public put-downs
A “sink or swim” attitude from peers

“When I realized I was getting different report info than other nurses, I knew it wasn’t just me being ‘sensitive.’” – New Grad, Med-Surg

What You Can Do

1. Advocate for Yourself Early

“I want to make sure I’m learning and doing this safely. If there’s feedback, can we go over it directly instead of in front of patients?”

2. Build Allies Outside Your Unit
Find a mentor from clinicals, a former instructor, or a nurse in an online community.

“My nursing school mentor became my lifeline—she reminded me that how I was being treated wasn’t normal.” – ICU Nurse, 2 years

3. Document What Happens
Keep a private, factual log of dates, incidents, and witnesses.

“When I finally went to my manager, having a written record made all the difference.” – Telemetry Nurse, 6 years

4. Use Your Chain of Command Wisely
If things don’t improve, escalate respectfully: preceptor → charge nurse → manager.

A seasoned nurse taking leadership and helping new nurses on her team

Leaders, This Is Your Moment

Culture change starts with those who’ve been here longest. Seasoned nurses and managers can:

Pair new nurses with willing, trained preceptors
Recognize and reward mentorship
Intervene early when patterns of hazing emerge

“I had a manager who said, ‘We don’t eat our young here’—and she meant it. It changed everything.” – Labor & Delivery Nurse, 10 years

You’re Not the Problem

If you’re experiencing hazing, it’s not because you’re weak or “not cut out for nursing.”
It’s because you’re stepping into a culture that still needs to evolve.

“I thought about quitting after my first three months. My mentor kept reminding me: ‘This is about them, not you.’ That saved my career.” – Step-Down Nurse, 5 years

You deserve to learn in an environment that challenges you without breaking you. And there’s a growing community of nurses ready to make sure you get that.

💬 Now I’d love to hear from you:
What’s one thing you wish someone had told you before your first nursing shift?
Share it in the comments—you never know who your words might help.

💬 Join the Conversation:

Share your stories in the comments or reach out—I’d love to hear from you.

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Any tips or stories you'd like to share with your fellow new nurses?

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Want Mentorship?

If you’re a new nurse (or an experienced one) who wants help building communication skills, I’m here to support you.

Let’s imagine a nursing culture where we handle conflict with courage, professionalism, and care—not fear or silence.

Let’s build that together.