When the Job Changes You — And You Don’t Like Who You’re Becoming
A nurse looking at herself in the mirror.
A few weeks ago, I snapped at my husband. Sharp. Irritable. The kind of reaction that made me stop mid-sentence and think, “Who was that?”
It wasn’t just a bad day.
It was the moment I realized—I’m not acting like myself. And I’m not sure I like the version of me I’ve been becoming.
For me, that shift has come over the past few years, as I’ve learned to live with chronic illness and relentless, stabbing pain that even prescribed medications can’t touch. I used to be able to walk a mile. Now, on a good day, I might manage 50 or 60 feet. My balance is unpredictable. I’ve been told I need a mobility dog. An electric wheelchair. And I’m in the process of making those adjustments—big, emotional, life-changing ones.
But what’s hit the hardest isn’t the equipment. It’s what’s happening inside of me.
Let’s dive in!
The Version of Me I Didn’t See Coming
Pain didn’t just change my body—it started changing my behavior.
I yell more. I isolate more. I avoid things I used to enjoy.
And the hardest part? It feels like it’s happening in slow motion. Not a dramatic collapse. Just… erosion. Quiet, steady, numbing.
I never thought I’d see these parts of myself.
But here they are.
And while my story is shaped by illness, I see this same shift happen in nursing, too—especially for new nurses, NCLEX students, and early-career clinicians under constant pressure. You go in with passion, drive, and purpose. Then slowly, the system wears you down. You get sharper. Quieter. Less hopeful. Less…you.
“Then slowly, the system wears you down. You get sharper. Quieter. Less hopeful. Less…you.”
5 Signs the Job (or Life) Is Changing You — And Not for the Better
Whether it’s chronic pain, burnout, or just the slow drip of stress, here are some signs you might be drifting from yourself:
You catch yourself snapping at people you love—without knowing why.
The work you used to love now drains you.
You avoid the parts of your job that once made you proud.
You wonder if this version of you is permanent.
You feel grief—not just stress. Like you’re mourning yourself.
If you felt a pang reading that list—you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re paying attention.
What Grief in Disguise Can Feel Like
We talk a lot about burnout, but not enough about grief—the quieter, more personal kind.
Grief for your old body.
Grief for the nurse you thought you’d be.
Grief for the relationships strained under the weight of what you’re carrying.
It’s not just about workload or diagnosis. It’s about identity.
And when the way you show up in the world changes, even out of necessity, it can feel like something inside you went missing.
A new nurse asking, What’s really hurting right now?
This Isn’t Your Fault—But It Is a Crossroads
Here’s what I’m learning:
You don’t choose chronic illness. You don’t choose systems that exhaust you.
But you do get to choose how you meet the version of yourself they reveal.
That choice isn’t always graceful or obvious.
Some days, it just looks like pausing after the snap.
Taking a deep breath. Asking, What’s really hurting right now?
A nurse planning her reset.
What Reset Can Look Like
This isn’t a list of productivity hacks or toxic positivity.
Reset might look like:
Letting go of who you thought you had to be.
Asking for help and accepting it without shame.
Finding a new rhythm that fits this version of you.
Saying, “This is hard”—out loud.
I’m still in process. You might be too. But I believe there’s power in naming it.
You’re Still In There
If you don’t feel like yourself right now, I want you to hear this:
You are not lost.
You are not beyond repair.
You are still in there—beneath the pain, the exhaustion, the burnout, the self-doubt.
You’re still you.
Just layered. Just tired. Just waiting to be met with compassion.
So whether you’re navigating illness or nursing’s impossible expectations:
This is your invitation to notice.
To grieve.
To begin again.
Here are some activities to help you find yourself No email needed just download
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💬 Now I’d love to hear from you:
👉 Want to explore more? Let’s talk about what “reset” could look like for you.
📬 Message me RESET if you’re ready to feel more like yourself again..
Share it in the comments—you never know who your words might help.
You CAN do this!
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Share your stories in the comments or reach out—I’d love to hear from you.
What could a “reset” look like for you?
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